Mission Statement: SDFB is a union of men of all ages, fetish inclinations, skill levels and body types that understand trust is earned and key to building a brotherhood between men that will endure. This brotherhood will explore our deepest cravings and relearn the origins of our fetish community, to live it, and not just talk about it.


Why "brotherhood" in the name?

We've been getting this question fairly often. There has been a negative connotation behind the word "brotherhood," but words only have the power you give them. For SDFB, "brotherhood" means the recognition of a community bond between men, a male bonding that can whether times of distress and sail through times of joy.

Do you have a minimum age requirement?

Yes. The minimum age required for membership is currently set at 18. Should we conduct a function at a venue with a policy of "21 and up", we will adopt that policy for the duration of that function.  At present, the Plank Owners have not discussed a reason for setting the minimum age at 21.

Is this an elite group or is that your aim? 

Our aim is to not create an "elite" group of men, it is not our intent nor our desire to do so. It is not designed to become a place for egos to grow.  It is a place for men to grow.

What defines a person as a "member" of the group?

Actual membership comes after you have established mutual trust with the membership of SDFB. You will be notified when you are considered to be a member of SDFB. Otherwise the status (if you must have a status) is non-member or guest. Our social-only functions are open to everyone, unless specified otherwise. Social-only functions will provide interested men an opportunity to demonstrate their character and facilitate vetting by SDFB.  Our more intimate functions will be limited to the actual membership and/or invited guests.

Can heterosexual, bisexual or Trans (F-to-M) men join?

Men or those who identify as male, may join. This is a question best asked in person, but yes, you may join us if you are ready and we have established mutual trust.

Social-only functions, who can attend?

Anyone (male or female, member or non-member) may attend unless it is specifically noted otherwise in the announcement. Always check the details.

Is this a sex club? 

No. In our non-social events, eroticism may be in the air, but it doesn't mean we're soon to have sex. You may arrange a "play-date or scene" after the fact, and that is fine. Eroticism doesn't equate to sexual activity as there is a discernible difference. We may have specific events which play parties are the intended focus, but that is not our primary goal as a group.

If I don't have sex with men, do I have to have sex with a man to learn more about fetish or my own erotic nature?

You don't have to have sex with anyone you don't want to or at any time you don't want, regardless of your orientation, period. But if you aren't into sexual contact/eroticism or the actual act of sex with men, you have to honestly ask why are you here. There are no wrong answers, but suffice to say that you can learn a lot by submitting to and dominating men without actually having sex (back to the differences between sex and eroticism).  Again this is a question best asked in person.

What is the difference between eroticism and sexual activity?

Eroticism doesn't equate to sex. Eroticism is the atmosphere/attitude that makes one aroused or transcends into a different headspace.  Sex is, well, sex, that actual act.  Eroticism may entail sexual contact or dialogue but won't necessarily mean intercourse, oral or otherwise.

Most of what I see involves leather, is this a leather-only group?

No. Leather tends to be the primary type of fetish gear used, but fetishes don't have to include only leather. They may not even include leather at all.  In some cases, some people have non-gear centric fetishes. It's just about what moves you.

I'm intimidated and I don't want to get hurt!

Well, you must have some interest otherwise you wouldn't be checking us out. Everyone has a limit, some are much farther away, and others may have a short fuse. The more you experience, like with anything else in life, the more you will be able to do. There is no need to hurry to become a MASTER or worry that you must be a slave at first (unless you want to be one).  Limits should be made known, and then you must demonstrate a willingness to push them at an appropriate pace to avoid stagnation and to prevent a rushed job into your growth. There is no reason to have to do anything you don't want to do, especially if you are brand spanking new.  You can always just talk at first. =)

Why do you exclude some people?

Everyone is welcomed to attend our non-erotic/non-sexual events, male and female alike, but if you act like a fool, we'll invite you to leave on your own.  If you don't, we'll expel you. That said, when it comes to our more intimate settings, where people's emotions, and inner-selves are exposed, aka more vulnerable, we must insure everyone is safe, protected, and enjoying their head spaces. That means mutual trust has been established, and the people involved are mentally prepared to experience what is going on. This is to make sure everyone is protected. The last thing anyone wants is to have a person ruin a good time because they've become "That Guy." Suffice to say that if you come to us with bitterness in your heart, it will not be welcomed here.

What is a "headspace"?

A headspace is the state of mind that allows a person to transcend themselves. For some this may mean they become submissive when their normal daily life has them being the dominant person, and vice verse. This allows a person to engage in activities that is beyond their daily grind, and allows them to be simply "more" than they normally are.

Who We Are

The San Diego Fetish Brotherhood is a union of men and those that identify as male, to celebrate and express our sexual and erotic fetishes, regardless of sexual orientation.

A union where we can learn new skills, refine our current skills, or explore what we feel brewing within our minds and bodies.  A union to explore head-spaces that drive us to dominate or submit, and to enjoy the masculine energy between men.

Trust is paramount and is necessary in order to have full enjoyment. Of course, trust is earned, and so a measure of *exclusivity (see below) is important as we vet interested persons wishing to join our collective.

We are here to encourage, support, and grow together, as men.

​*Exclusivity for SDFB is not a negative.  In order for the men of our group to fully enjoy themselves, give in to their erotic nature, we have to assure that everyone who does partake in our most vulnerable events, are persons who are of good character, who can be trusted, are respectful of each other's current limits and boundaries, and are mentally prepared to explore their desires and push back their boundaries, all in an effort to avoid souring the moment.

What we do

Our focus will revolve around several functions that will help promote cohesiveness and bonding with our fetish brothers and on some levels, with our fetish sisters.

While this is a male-centric group (Brotherhood), our efforts will revolve around 4 basic principles: socializing, listening, learning, and playing.

SOCIALIZING: Our social events, or runs, will be geared to the greater fetish community and those that are interested in fetish.  Some of these events may be male only, but occasionally we will have, host, support, or take part in pansexual events to strengthen the bonds of our fetish community. This will be the venue in which interested persons can demonstrate their character... the courting ritual is essential, and helps provide an opportunity for people to demonstrate who they are and how they interact with other like-mind people, it's the first step towards building mutual trust.

LISTENING: We will also conduct discussion groups in which we will discuss things related to fetish or even bring in keynote speakers from not only the local area but from around the country to help share their experience with us but in addition, to help educate the current generations about the earlier years of the fetish community.

LEARNING: None of us as individuals know all the tricks and have all the skills to implement various techniques in a scene.  We will also put together hands-on demonstrations where participation will be key to learning how to properly learn certain skills so that they can be enjoyed safely and with reduced risk, because fetish play can be a bit risky.

PLAY: While this is not a play-centered group, play parties may be organized with moderators to assure everyone is protected and enjoying their head-spaces.

The goal is to conduct at least one event per month of each of the above types, except for the play parties. Play parties will be more sporadic.


We would like to thank Mr. Lucas Volk for designing our logo. We think it's freaking awesome. He can be reached at NHxDesigns

Plank Owners

Click here to learn a little about the founding men of the San Diego Fetish Brotherhood.

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